Typical dating questions
On a first date go for a friendly tone rather than an intimate tone when asking this question. Don’t be afraid to change plans if you arrive at a restaurant and find it’s too noisy for a good conversation. Why: This shows you're considerate of other people's comfort. Why: If they still live with their Mom or they live with 10 roommates, this tells you something about how they like to live.
"This is a great query because a dream job merges meaning, passion, and lifestyle," Jones explains. If things get a bit awkward or serious, divert to a more carefree topic.Key goals of a first date are to (a) see if you have a connection, and (b) find out if you and your date have any major areas of incompatibility. Why: Does the person have strong feelings or are they more easygoing and with milder feelings. We’re wired so that once we start to develop an emotional attachment this is hard to break away from. Why: Different vacation preferences or amounts of vacation time can be a major source of ongoing incompatibility. Why: This question helps establish if your date has a positive or negative attitude? Why: Helps you find out the person's preferences and also helps you establish if the person has any free time or if they're a workaholic. Why: You likely have a preference one way or the other. However it's good to know what you're getting yourself in for before you start to get attached to someone. Why: Do they spend a lot of money or time collecting something? The answers to the above questions aren't necessarily deal breakers. If you try to be too careful with what you say, this is likely to backfire.
Why: Whatever you're really passionate about, do they respect it? If you jump to an assumption that they have the same politics as you, they might feel too awkward to say that their politics are different. To take some of the pressure off during first dates, remind yourself: (a) that you each have 50% of the responsibility for how the conversation flows, and (b) you can only control how someone reacts to you to a limited extent.
Everyone loves to laugh, and talking about the things that make you both fall into a fit—cheesy pickup lines, dad jokes, a particular You Tube flick—gets the conversation flowing... Lots of laughter on a first date is a great sign, Jones says.
This conversation starter can bring a light, playful, untethered feeling into your mix of questions, Jones says.
Meet the experts: Sarah Jones is a relationship expert, and founder and CEO of coaching website Introverted Alpha, and Sameera Sullivan is the CEO of Lasting Connections, an elite matchmaking service. "This is a great ice-breaker because it's a little mischievous and flirtatious," Jones says.
"It's a sign you'd like to know her beyond surface level, while still giving her the freedom to reveal what she wants to share—and doesn't." This question lets you get a sense of what she feels strongly about and whether she's spirited and heartfelt.
"You get a glimpse into her day, her job responsibilities, how she deals with stress, her energy level, tone, and how she spends her time," Jones says. Some say you never truly know someone until you travel with them.