Attraction and christian dating
But this isn't exactly the same thing as finding it attractive, at least not in the way we typically think of finding something attractive.We may inadvertently assume that being attracted to something is primarily about without our conscious participation, and we therefore conclude it is beyond our control.
This is a far more stable basis for physical attraction in marriage. This principle can inform the way we seek a spouse.With an uneasy smile, he said, “Well, you can make a pretty girl spiritual, but you can't make a spiritual girl pretty.” Everyone sensed the sarcasm in his maxim, but it didn't bring much resolution to the dilemma. This question comes up a lot in my current ministry, too, usually in the form of a single friend feeling guilty for not being attracted to an otherwise worthy romantic candidate.I usually tell friends they shouldn't feel guilty for not being attracted to someone—but they shouldn't think the matter is necessarily settled, either.But before we settle into holding out for that girl with the right curves or the guy with the square jaw, let me point out that the importance of the body does not necessarily validate our personal preferences regarding what it should look like.Marital love involves valuing your spouse's body.We should not presume that our initial aesthetic sensibilities are an unchallengeable law within us. The basis for attraction is valuing an actual person, body and soul.
Husbands and wives should be attracted to one another because they value the whole person, not because they happen to like olive skin or a firm body.
Perhaps this means that singles should be willing to direct their affections toward potential spouses they may not initially find attractive.
My reasoning is that looks are unimportant—remember, our bodies are a vital aspect of who we are.
“I don't care what she'll look like,” the young man declared about his yet-unknown future bride.
“I'll love her for who she is inside.” Everyone in the small gathering of young people looked at him with distinctly unconvinced expressions.
Isn't this more like Jesus' love for his people than simply following initial attractions?