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Here’s the hard and fast truth about virgins and virginity: it’s a completely cultural construct.
It rapidly becomes a case of self-fulfilling prophecy; they believe that there is something shameful and wrong about being a virgin at such an “advanced” age and so it bleeds into other aspects of their lives.A virgin, therefore, is the ultimate expression of virtue and goodness (and thus priceless) and any woman who has an excessive number of sex partners (for a suitably subjective value of “excessive”) is degraded.(Which admittedly brings up the question of just who these studs are supposed to be racking up all these lays with, but that’s a matter for another time.) Even in this day and age when women are closer to social and sexual equity than they have ever been before, the double-standard still exists; the ultimate insults to label a woman are “slut” and “prude”.For some, it’s a quest to lose our virginity the night of The Big School Event (Homecoming, Prom, Spring Formal, what-have-you) because it’s part of the modern high-school mythology that we’ve made up.For others it’s trying to beat a particular date – our 18th or 21st birthdays, high-school or college graduation, before summer’s over, before getting married. I can’t count the number of letters I’ve gotten from virgin readers, men and women of just about every age who have not had sex yet and are desperately afraid that they’re “too late”.
Some may have had physical intercourse with another person – oral sex, mutual masturbation, possibly even anal sex – but consider themselves virgins because they’ve never had penile/vaginal sex.
A flawed article in an issue of Newsweek sent women into paroxysms of fear of spinsterhood when it claimed that women who weren’t married by 40 would be married and had better odds of being killed by terrorists.
In Japan, there are references to a woman as a “Christmas cake” – it may look tasty, but nobody wants it after the 25th.
There is no difference between a person who has had sex and someone who hasn’t.
Even a woman’s hymen is no demarcator of virginity; many will rupture their hymen long before they’ve had penetrative vaginal intercourse.
Because of all of the importance placed on the concept of virginity, people are convinced that having passed some arbitrary cut-off point that they have rendered themselves utterly unfuckable and have somehow missed on a critical aspect of growing up.