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That is what the old man I see on my morning run does. Summer holidays: Christopher and his Greek wife Peppy wanted a second home so they could get away from Athens with their young children Naturally I would have to learn to doze off on a bench in the shade, but that, with a little practice, should not be too hard a skill to master.He drives to his olive grove as the sun is rising and switches on his simple irrigation pump. The problem was that we didn't have the first idea how to go about harvesting olives - but we did have the wonderful Nikos, our neighbour, who offered to help.
Your colleagues hear every note you play, even if the audience doesn't, and spot every mistake. It was when the conversation strayed off building that things started going horribly wrong. And even, incredibly, the best way to scrunch up the newspaper that would light the kindling.We still had to get it properly habitable so that we had somewhere decent to live before tackling the big house.We needed a new kitchen, new ceilings and some fairly crucial propping up of walls that looked as though they might fall over.Daniel assured Christopher he could do all those things and pretty much everything else.If it's true that I am not the best judge of builders it may be because of my day job. This, of course, went down brilliantly with Dad, who clearly didn't know nearly enough about anything.Peacocks were more than just a hobby for Dimitris: they were a good retirement business, too.
The chicks sold for decent money and Henry's job was to make sure that three hens were serviced to ensure a regular supply of them.
Still, I must point out that Daniel started out well when I hired him, turning up almost every day and almost always on time. When he'd emptied a bag, Dad rolled it up to get rid of it.
'Ah, you don't know how to roll up plastic bags eh? I have led an utterly wasted - indeed entirely pointless - life until now.
It's relatively easy to cover up mistakes - at least for a while. Still, he let Daniel lecture him without registering too much disapproval.
So my bull****-detecting radar is not as finely tuned as it should be - unlike Dad's who has to use his all the time in his job. When it comes to being able to make unverifiable claims and getting away with it, politicians are the polar opposite of musicians. It was the question of how to fold plastic supermarket bags that pushed Dad over the edge.
' said Daniel, quite unaware of the risk he was running. Beautiful corner: John decided he wanted a home in the Peloponnese after going for walks there with his son 'While I was struggling to become a reporter and foreign correspondent and news presenter and author and newspaper columnist and trying to earn enough money to bring up my family and educate my children and even build a s***ing house in this s***ing country, employing expat Englishmen who clearly couldn't manage to make a living in their own country, I should, obviously, have been spending my time learning to scrunch up newspapers properly so that I could light a fire and learning to roll up plastic s***ing bags.