Jokes rules for dating my daughter
For teenagers, perspective isn’t the easy thing to begin with. This is a dangerous age where everything we do is put under a microscope.
However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me.Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget.If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating.Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you.
Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early." Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls.
This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter.
He might be a well-adjusted young man full of the right things, but I was not at his age, and I know all the angles. Control the public displays of affection and in private too.
I’m not proud of my years as a teenage boy, but as a parent I have a wealth of experience to draw upon. I know you’re going to kiss, but I sure don’t want to see it. Show my daughter the respect she deserves, and she’s been taught to treat you the same way. And no, you can’t go out of town together to see a concert. We spent all those years teaching and instilling values.
Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi.